May was an exquisite month for me. My soul was shaken to the core. Things that had been lying dormant suddenly came to the surface and I was ready to step forward into my creative self. I spent most of the month reflecting on everything that happened at Travel Con (which I will write more on, I promise!). So many emotions when through me that, honestly, I’m still kinda processing it. This dream has been mine for so long that it almost feels like it’s not meant to come true, but then I meet people who are succeeding in this life and realizing that it is 100% a possibility is almost unreal.
I’ve been told so many times before that my dreams to matter and that they will never come true. My own family has told me that since their dreams didn’t come true that mine don’t deserve to either. When you’re told something like this over years and years you do tend to believe it.
So May was beautiful and soul opening and reflective. Then June came and along with that came the over analyzing of everything. How do I pursue this life? How can I make it work financially? I love my job, do I really want to leave it? What if I just keep it as a hobby until I retire? What if it doesn’t work out and I have to start all over again and try to explain how my dreams failed when I go back to the “real world”? Do I really want to start over in a few years at 45? How will I retire? Etc, etc, etc. My brain couldn’t handle it and I practically had a breakdown over the continued back and forth.
Enter my therapist and very close friends. They were able to listen to me ask all these questions and then they asked some of their own. Do you need to pursue that career path or do you want to pursue it? What if everything goes right? You are creative, don’t you want to at least try? It’s always good to be vulnerable and open to the people you are closest with. They really do help put things in perspective. I realized through these conversations that I’ve reached a point in my life where I can actually choose what I want over what I “need to do”.
This has made me feel unstoppable and scared and excited and nervous all at the same time. I get to start listening to my heart and my gut over what my mind is telling me is “rational”. It’s a totally weird feeling but I’m going to keep stepping forward in it because it’s what I want to do. I’m tired of being stuck in the paralysis that over analyzing gets me. In grad school they told us to lean into the discomfort because that where growth happens. So wish me luck, and send hi-fives, encouragement, and maybe some Ibuprofen my way. I’m going after my dreams!
This is absolutely amazing, and so relatable. My family definitely was not supportive of my choices and lifestyle either, and I often get stuck in paralysis from my anxiety and perseverations. Finding people like you who support dreams and build each other up instead of tearing each other down has been life-changing.
Meeting people like you has been life changing for me as well! Thank you for your support and motivation!
This is the perfect website for everyone who hopes to understand this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a subject thats been discussed for decades. Great stuff, just great!